


The air in my lungs

by Oh_well_Em_writes



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Holding Hands, Liam is So Done, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sharing a Bed, Theo makes it better, if that's a thing, tent sharing, they share a tent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 21:04:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14679474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_well_Em_writes/pseuds/Oh_well_Em_writes
Summary: Liam is chosen to be the one who has to share the tent with Theo. And he's pretty sure he won't do it. Yep, he definitely won't.But maybe his plan to escape the situation goes wrong and he's stuck in the tent, but it's even worse than he thought, because god he forgot how hot it could get in a tent, and all he sees is Theo, all he hears is Theo, all he scents is Theo. And he can't handle it.Or the one where Liam panics because Theo is everywhere and maybe he's stupid because Theo is the origin of the panic but also the only one being able to keep him from drowning.





	The air in my lungs

**Author's Note:**

> First story I wrote in a long, long time. All mistakes are my own, please don't hesitate to point out any.  
> Be careful, there is a panic attack in there, so if you're a bit sensitive when it comes to this, maybe avoid the story? xx
> 
> In any case, I hope you like it!

"You're kidding me right now." Liam is shocked. No, he's angry. Outraged. Did he even hear them right? He can't believe it. Why the hell did it have to be him? Out of everybody. No way.

"He's your responsibility." Scott says, and oh yeah, right, he says it as if it was the most obvious thing. The most obvious reason why it should be him... It isn't.

"Plus, you're the only one who doesn't hate him." Stiles adds, and Liam can't help but snorts. He can't be the only one thinking this is the worst idea of the century, right? He looks at the faces in front of him. They look all so damn serious it makes Liam want to shake them out of it.

"Obviously." He answers. "I literally broke his nose again today. Obviously I don't hate him, it's not like I want to rip my own hair off each time he talks." He thinks his explanations make sense. And they do. He fucking hates Theo. Everybody knows that. Or at least he thought.  
If there is someone acting hostile towards the Chimera it's him. They are the ones not actually acting on their anger on Theo, and they want Liam to share with him? One of them might as well end up dead before the sun rises. Liam's pretty sure it's not going to be him.

The more he thinks about it the more absurd it gets. The others watch him silently as the storm continue in his head. He always comes back to the same conclusion : there's no way it's happening.

"I'm sleeping outside then." He states. It's his decision anyway. He does what the hell he wants. Yes, definitely. He's not going to share that tent.

Scott growls. "No, you're not." And seeing Liam's mouth opening to say another thing he very likely won’t agree with, he adds "And he's not either. End of discussion."

And oh god, how much Liam hates when they act like they're his parents or some shit, deciding things for him. Like he cares. Like he listens. He's sleeping outside tonight.

...

But somehow he's here. Staring at the top of the blue tent, definitely not listening to the ruffling of clothes and sheets. Definitely not doing that. He's thinking of a plan. Thinking about how he can't wait for everyone to fall asleep so he can sneak out. He might have just gotten in, but he can't stand it already. He'll have to wait. Like on hunt. Wait for the right moment. Patience. All senses alert. Eyes ready to catch movements. Listening…

God, definitely not listening. Eyes definitely not now stuck on the shirt laying at the end of his sleeping bag, shirt that's not his own. Definitely not thinking about what it implies.

He fucking forgot how hot it could get in a tent. How is it even possible?

And his wolf is on hunting mode making him feel like he shouldn't move a muscle, shouldn't even breathe. Why did he have to think about it as a hunting thing. How stupid can he be.

There is literally zero movement in there and he can barely hear himself -or Theo- breathe. The air feels so thick, each breath he draws in feels too forced. Tents are supposed to let air in, right?

His eyes are again on the ceiling and he can't help but get startled when he hears a clear of throat to his right.

"What." That's not even a question.

"Nothing?" And the way Theo says it paints in front of Liam's vision the way his stupid eyebrow rises, as he acts like he just didn't clear his throat on purpose, acts like Liam is imagining things and is being stupid.

A few silent seconds pass by and he can't stand it anymore because it's so fucking hot in there. He shots up, and dives for the front of the tent, scaring Theo in the process, catching sight of him jumping slightly at the corner of his eyes. He feels kind of satisfied by that, but that feeling is drowned under the one screaming he has to get fresh air.

"What are you doing." And why do they talk to each other sounding like they are threatening each other instead of asking questions when they should? Once again, Liam can't see him as he slides the tent open, but he can tell Theo just rolled his eyes at him.

"I'm opening, obviously. Because it's hot as hell in there." And of course Theo has something to say about it.

"No, I don't want mosquitoes." It's Liam's turn to roll his eyes now. He takes a deep inhale of fresh air.

"What do you care, you're a werewolf."

"They're annoying as fuck."

"They wouldn't be interested in you anyway." And Liam thinks he's clever, doesn't he, saying things like that, implying that no one wants Theo, not even the bloody mosquitoes.  
But as he settles back down on the mattress that serves him as a bed for god knows how long, he catches a smirk making its way to Theo's lips. Liam knows instantly that he's going to regret saying anything at all.

"I'd let you know that my skin is warm, and soft, and tasty, and the mosquitoes are not the only ones who want a taste, actually." Liam definitely regrets talking. God, he wants to smash Theo's satisfied face on the nearest wall, but doing that in a tent would undeniably be a bad idea.  
He growls, Theo has this capacity of making him regret every decision he's ever made, even the ones he doesn't remember making, even the ones he took when they weren't even aware of each other's existence.  
Theo's sudden movement stops his thoughts. He can't be serious.

"Oh no, you're not doing that." Liam states, and that's a fact. Theo will let the tent open, do as Liam is asking him to. Of course he will listen to Liam.

"I sure am." Liam glares at him as he settles back in his sleeping bag. His eyes doesn't leave the other's face as he mimics Theo’s former movement, and opens the tent again. "We're not playing this game." The smirk is again on Theo's lips and Liam regrets opening his mouth.

"If you want to see this as a game." And Liam doesn't. He fucking doesn't. He's exhausted, and it's too hot in there. All he wants is for the tent to stay open so he can breathe, and maybe for his fist to gently land on Theo's jaw. Yeah that too, definitely.  
But the thing is, there's no air in there. Even if the tent is open at the moment, all he can smell is Theo, all he can hear is Theo, and there's no air in there. He's sure this tent is not on norms, or that it was a trap made for them to die from suffocation during the night, or maybe it was only meant for him, because he listens to Theo's breathing -not that he wants to- and the other seems just fine.

Theo moves to open the tent again and Liam snaps. His eyes flash yellow as he grabs the other's arm to stop him. Theo's brows furrow in confusion at the action. He sighs.

"Calm down will you. If you're so hot, why don't you get out of your sleeping bag and don't make a fuss ? We're closing this damn tent before there are more mosquitoes inside than out." Liam panics.

"I'm going out then."

"Liam, you're not, it's the middle of the freaking night, you're supposed, hell, _we're_ supposed to get some sleep, not fight over having the tent open or not, or you wanting to go fucking stargazing." Liam feels that Theo is starting to lose patience, and it makes Liam angry because why does he care? So he asks just that.

"Why do you care if I go outside or not. You go to fucking sleep. I go get some fucking air. Simple." Liam's hand drops from Theo's arm, not realizing he had kept it there all this time, and starts to kick his sleeping bag to get out of it. Theo rolls his eyes, and puts his hand on top of Liam's wiggling feet.

"It'll bother me when you get back in, you're not going outside."

"I'm not planning to get back in." his eyes shoot daggers now. He's boiling inside. Why can't Theo just fucking drop the matter.

"What the hell are you saying?" He looks at Liam like he lost a plot, which he definitely has, but Theo doesn't realize the state he's in right now. He closes the tent once again, and Liam sucks in a shaky breath. The air in his lungs feels like ashes. He's sure his cheeks are bright red, because he feels like he's dying.

"Now take this sleeping bag off, but don't go outside." All Liam can do is glare at him. Theo takes that as a yes, and starts to tug at the end of the angry beta's bag, trying to get him out of it. Liam can't believe someone as annoying as Theo actually exists, and it makes him want to rip his own skin off.  
Theo's chuckling when he watches Liam's face twist with reborn anger and watches as the beta tries to kick him through the sleeping bag, his feet flying everywhere, very likely trying to get Theo's face.

The rustling the fight makes, the whispered scream of Liam telling him to piss off are soon noticed. They still when they hear Scott growl from a tent not far away, and they start a silent conversation, a silent combat with their eyes, Liam's raging breathing the only sound, mixed with their frantic heartbeat. Both of their faces are red -it indeed starts to get hot in there, Theo admits to himself- and Theo may or may not have a bruised cheek.

Liam's trying his best to breathe... in, out, in out. But all this agitation made him worse, the smell of their sweat added into the atmosphere, and it makes him want to stop breathing altogether. In, out. He chants it to himself.  
The air is not circulating properly, and he takes deep breaths, deep breaths of Theo's air, of Theo's scent. He's suffocating at the realization, the panic rising inside makes his lungs feel like they’re catching fire, his throat is dry and each puff of air coming in and out is burning him.  
In, out. It doesn't work anymore.

"I need to go out." He doesn't want to sound so helpless but his voice betrays him. He's helpless. He's breathless.

"You're not starting with that again." Liam feels Theo's grip on his ankles tighten, where his forearm had been lying to none of the two's awareness. He sucks in another breath, and tries to remain calm but the more he thinks about it the more he realizes he can't breathe.

"I'm telling you it's too hot." He's shuffling again, trying to get up, he feels like he's drowning. He can't stay a minute more in there or else he's going to die. "I can't breathe, I- I need to get out." His vision blurs and his eyes start to water, he suddenly can't see Theo's face and somehow that makes it worse.

"Theo." His hands grasp the air trying to find him. "Theo. Theo." His hand find the chimera's biceps, and Liam draws a deep breath in. He tries to blink the tears away, tries to get air in his lungs. He squeezes Theo's arm, to keep himself grounded, to make sure he's not alone, not being swallowed by the earth.

"Liam. Focus." Theo's voice sounds distant, but it is a worried voice, who doesn't care anymore about keeping quiet, a voice that reaches to him like lights in the dark. Liam's vision clears a bit, and he distinguishes Theo's frowning face, his features as worried as his voice sounds.

"I've- I've been trying to- tell you I couldn't breathe- I can't-" Liam tries to speak, sucking air the best he can, he tries to keep his vision clear, his eyes locked with Theo's. His other hand is suddenly in Theo's and he hears him chant "breathe, please Liam, breathe." and he sounds so worried Liam's shocked, even in the state he's in. It makes his heart ache at the sound, he doesn't want him to worry over him.

He feels Theo shuffling, the hand that was squeezing Theo's arm falling as the chimera moves away from him, and Liam realizes he would have lost it if it wasn't for his other hand still being firmly clasped between warm fingers. He hears Theo fight against the tent opening, making it slide harshly (and maybe he has broken it but none of them could care less right now) and he focuses on the warm feeling against his hand to keep himself grounded, to keep himself breathing.  
It’s still so fucking hard. In, out. He’s trying his best, why is it not working. Tears well up in his eyes, it stings.

He's being dragged outside now, Theo managing to maneuvering Liam’s body with one hand, the other still in the beta's, managing not to trip them when he goes out. Liam's face is met by cold air, fresh feeling in his burning throat. He can smell the forest, the earth, the night air.  
His naked legs are on the hard ground and he shudders, draws a breath in. A tear runs down his cheek and he sweeps it away quickly. He wants to empty his lungs from the ashes inside.

Theo’s still moving around, tugging at their still intertwined hands as he gets Liam’s sleeping bag from the inside of the tent, and throws it over Liam’s shivering legs.

His empty hand finds Theo’s arm again, like it belongs there. Their legs are laced under the fabric, and he knows Theo’s sitting close to him even if he can only distinguish shapes in front of him. He tries again to tell himself he’s outside now. That there is air. That he’s free. But it doesn’t work.

His hand is led to a warm place, fingers meeting naked skin. It's when he notices his claws are out, the moment he feels them pressed against Theo's skin. It draws out blood but Theo doesn't care, he presses harder, until Liam realizes the pumping feeling underneath. Theo's heart. His palm is pressed against his skin, and he focuses on the feeling. thump thump thump. It isn't a calm heartbeat but it's grounding him, he's somehow anchored, somehow able to tell himself he'll be okay.

"Liam." Liam's eyes look at Theo's again, not realizing they had left his face to look at his hand stuck between the other’s chest and hand. "Breathe with me please." Liam listens to him give a long breath out. He tries to imitate him. It comes out short and shaky. Theo breathes in, slowly. Liam follows. Theo's heartbeat under his palm is calming down, and Liam's tunes in.

Liam's not asking himself what's wrong with him, or why he does this or that, but his head finds itself settled against Theo's shoulder, their hands still in the same position between them. His claws are gone now, and Theo’s skin is mostly healed. Liam listens to Theo's breathing close to his ear, and he soon can say he is breathing normally again. He doesn't move once he's recovered, neither of them do. They listen to each other's breathing, to each other's beating heart, to the sounds outside, signaling the others are all asleep.

Liam's the first to speak. “Sorry...” Theo’s grip on his hand tightens. It’s when they both remember the blood, now dry. They don’t do anything about it though, afraid to let go. Let go of their intertwined hands. Let go of the atmosphere. Let go of whatever it is they have right this moment.

Anger rises inside Liam at the thought of blood, anger directed at himself. He hates the thought of Theo hurt. He can’t bear the thought of Theo hurt because of him.

“Don’t. It’s my fault.” Theo’s face moves ever so slightly toward Liam’s, their ears touching. The chimera can feel the beta’s face shake against both his hair and shoulder in a silent no. Their body are so intertwined, he notices, that if one of them does any movement let alone breathe, the other would feel it.

“I didn’t notice you were being serious.” Liam feels sick in the stomach, because after the mess he’s made of himself, Theo’s blaming himself. The only responsible is Liam, for freaking out on nothing, well, on something that should be nothing. He knows he would have acted like Theo had, if the other had made such a fuss. He’d been ridiculous… How ridiculous still, that he finds such comfort on having Theo standing so close to him.

He can’t find it himself to move, he blames it on the fatigue.

“Don’t blame yourself over the shit I do.” Liam breathes in, catching Theo’s scent, this time accepting the fact that it’s intoxicating. “Please.” He adds in a whisper, his voice so low he wonders if he even voiced it. All Theo does is squeeze his hand again, he doesn’t answer because they both know Theo will always blame himself if anything happens to Liam, even if it isn’t his fault, even if he shouldn’t, even if he acts like he couldn’t care less…

…

In a silent agreement, they make their way back to the tent. Maybe was it the fact that a shiver simultaneously ran through their bodies. Maybe the tiredness hitting them both at the back of the head. In any case, they don’t mention the fact that their hands stay interlocked while they get in, while Theo closes the tent, while they clumsily get in their respective sleeping bag, when they now sit facing each other.

“Why are we even still up?” Theo asks, his voice too soft to match his eye roll. Liam snorts, there’s no need for Theo to act like there is something wrong with the atmosphere or anything. Not that they’re holding hand. Not that Liam feels like he wouldn’t sleep if Theo lets go.

“Well, not like I know. But we probably should sleep.” Liam says, and he hates how his voice sounded both soft and aggressive, attitude somehow matching Theo’s.

Liam tries to settle down on his so called mattress, cursing himself for not being able to let go of Theo’s hand. And because of that he has to lay close to where Theo’s still sat cross-legged, watching him. Liam wishes for Theo to move or do something, anything, because they’re once again in silence and Liam listens to his own heart beating, and he feels Theo’s pulse under his palm, not that he tries to.

His eyes are closed too tight for it to look natural, and the frown on his face definitely doesn’t help with that. Luckily, Theo hears his silent prayer, and lies down next to Liam, facing the ceiling.

“Good night.” he tells Liam, and he can’t help but add “And stop frowning, when you’ll wake up it’s going to be permanent.” Liam scoffs. Theo’s so not funny, god. But his face softens anyway.

“’Night.” Their hands stay between them like an unvoiced promise, that says _I’ve got you_ , or _I’m not going anywhere_ , maybe both, Liam’s not sure.

…

The next day, Theo doesn’t comment on the empty feeling he gets when he has to take his hand away from Liam’s to get out without waking him. Theo doesn’t comment either on the fact that during the night Liam shuffled closer and almost slept in his arms. And he doesn’t comment on the squeezes Liam’s hand gave Theo’s while asleep.

The next day, Liam doesn’t admit to himself how disappointed he felt when he woke up alone. Liam doesn’t admit to himself either that the first thing he did when he woke up was not opening his eyes, but moving his hand trying to find another. And he doesn’t admit to himself that Theo’s presence during that night made him get more rest than he ever had in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading !  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated, I would love to know what you thought of it !  
> Constructive criticism is very well appreciated too, don't hesitate to point out any mistakes/typos.


End file.
